Mothballed

The Window Cleaner - Photograph by Tim Irving

Yesterday I was taking photographs of some of the most extreme examples of military hardware. The items I'm interested in cost many millions, sometimes billions of dollars to produce and maintain. This type of equipment can't be sold off at the end of it's useful life to an army surplus store, it's must either be scrapped or mothballed.

Housed in an enormous structure of biblical proportions, this is a long range bomber that once carried nuclear weapons. Bathed in artificial blue lights, I found it very beautiful in form and texture. I don't know what it's made of, it feels soft, smooth, and sensuous to the touch. Being alone, inside a building of this scale with this object whose form is perfect, I experienced the same feelings I used to feel (when they weren't so crowded), visiting art galleries or cathedrals. I'd recommend it.

Plumbing - Photograph by Tim Irving

How about this for a piece of art. The photograph above is a detail of a Pratt and Whitney turbine engine, one of two used to propel a Blackbird SR-71 spy plane. It is fabulous, every part of the engine is hand made with the great skill, using rare and precious metals. Flying this aeroplane costs $50,000 an hour.

The day was very exciting and uplifting, I was on an emotional high but in need of refreshment. It crossed my mind that the very intelligent people who look after all this stuff probably make a good cup of tea, and with all the technology at their disposal, you can be certain that any cake baked on the premises would be perfect. 

Call that a scone?

But I was wrong! The cakes were dry and the tea bland.

14 days of Photography

My Assistant - Photograph by Tim Irving

I've just looked at my diary and the next two weeks are totally blank. I didn't actually need my diary to tell me this news, I already knew, but it makes a good start to this post.

I'm house sitting for a dog, a cat, and myself. My wife Lyn is visiting South East Asia and I'm home alone with a list of reminders, top of the list is "No home improvements". This suits me because when things go wrong with an improvement, when it becomes the opposite of improvement, I like to have someone to share the responsibility with.

An empty diary doesn't mean I have nothing to do, far from it. I have regular chores, packing photographs and taking photographs of the cameras I sell. In fact an empty diary is my cue to take more photographs with the hope that one or two may be sellers. 

So I busy myself in the belief that no effort goes un-rewarded. Today I'm considering the practicalities of getting some photographs that I want, and making a list of how and where they can be made over the next 14 days. A small sample of the subjects on my list includes:

Wrestling
Ice Skating
Canoeing
The London skyline from south of the river
A portrait of a monkey

There's more than 20 subjects and each one will need research and planning. Getting information to organise a photograph is ridiculously difficult and I can spend hours on the telephone. Then there's the weather to consider, rain today, fine tomorrow, rain Wednesday etc. I'll keep you posted.

___________________________________________

 

The photograph above of my assistant, is from a 127 camera loaded with 35mm film. I have a few very nice 127 cameras that I wanted to use, and although you can still buy 127 film it's more fun to roll your own. Rolling film on to old spools is a little like making your own Yorkshire Puddings, in that it's not difficult to do, but the explanation can be tedious. If anyone is interested in rolling film, let me know and I'll write the instructions fir you.

The lens on the 127 camera isn't of the highest quality, plus the film isn't held flat in the camera, and this combination creates a lovely soft focus, as you can see above. I think it looks similar to a pinhole image, but it's a lot easier to use than a pinhole camera. I've just loaded the camera again for my adventures over the next 14 days.

Back soon.

Home Improvements

This past week has been difficult as I've tried to lay a floor and install a new toilet and hand basin in one go. From the start things didn't go to plan. I removed the old toilet, laid the new floor and fitted the new toilet on the new floor only to find that the new toilet leaked. That toilet has been re-fitted 3 times to date and it's still leaking. The manufacturers have sent me a new fixing kit, which is different from the original, maybe this is the magic bullet.

The floor looks good! Protected by plastic and towels.

The hand basin hasn't been a doddle. The pipe work is totally different to the old basin and I now understand that pipes come in many different diameters, fittings and materials. I've spent hours in depressing hardware stores trying to work out the correct pipes. After several wasted journeys, I now buy the same pipe in different diameteres just to cut down on the mileage. The basin is now fitted but both taps have a slight leak. I'll try and fix them tomorrow.

I believe this whole epispode is natural justice, karma. For years I've harshly judged other peoples efforts at decorating and home improvements, now I'm getting my come-uppance.

Of course things could be worse and I haven't quite stopped judging others, yet. I found this apartment for rent while looking for ideas and inspiration. According to the ad, this is "a recently renovated apartment". I'm not mocking it, I'm just amazed at the plumbing in that bathroom, there's even a washing machine in there.

The decoration of the apartment is a little too playful for my taste. But if art can be voyerism this apartment works very well. If this apartment had been installed at the Whitechapel Gallery last week it would have made the whole experience more rewarding.

 

Police E-Fit - State of the art photo software

Hampshire Police E-Fit

This isn't one of mine! This is a composite image created by Hampshire Police using special software. It's based on eye witness descriptions of a burglar who they hope to catch. This man tricked his way into an old persons house and stole £60.

I looked at this image for some time trying to work out what was wrong with it. The green hair (a witness described his hair as grey/blond), merely confuses the main error, can you see what's wrong? The answer is at the bottom.

I'm only guessing but it looks to me like Hampshire Police have been sold some state of the art software, (I imagine it's called E-Fit Pro), probably by the same salesman who sold HM Revenue & Customs (income tax),  it's new computer system (Taxman Pro). If you hadn't heard, nearly six million people in the UK have paid the wrong amount of tax and it looks like the government will have to write off £2 billion.

Of course the answer may be that the police are using  a Dadaist artist to operate the software and the E-Fit is an abstract expression of the artists emotion towards crime.

It's not just British police who have been sold the software - the e-fit below is from Australia. That's the real criminal on the right, if you hadn't guessed. The Australians have opted to buy the "Lite" version of the software with 256 shades of grey instead of the full colour version.

I wonder what type of press officer can address a police press conference and release these images without cracking up. "The suspect is medium build with salad colored hair".

The Australian E-Fit

What's wrong with lettuce head above? He has no ears!

Ringo's House

Frequent Electric Trains by Tim Irving

This is well off topic but I feel obliged to warn you not to do what I've done, which is fit a new toilet and a new floor, at the same time. I'll leave it at that.

The weather here is lovely and has been for the past 2 days. I haven't been out enjoying the sun because of the afore mentioned toilet and floor, but this weekend I'm visiting Merseyside (The photo above is the old underground station in Birkenhead) one of my favourite places with many happy memories. I'll probably nip over to Ringo's old house in Madryn Street, Liverpool which looks like it's going to be demolished. A very short sighted move in a city that makes a good living from its musical heritage. The council in Liverpool should think back, didn't they re-build the Cavern Club after pulling down the original. Madryn Street and the streets around it are called the "Welsh Streets" because they were populated by Welsh construction workers from the 19th century onwards. These are very attractive houses, easily modernised, historic and desirable. In any other city they'd be preserved, not in Liverpool.

I'm off to an exhibition tomorrow in London. But today I'm draining water in an attempt to stop a leak. I'll be back Friday.

Photographing the Tour of Britain Cycle Race

Team Garmin by Tim Irving

I love to photograph bike racing, it's a great spectacle with a lot of potential for a photographer and the sales of my cycling photographs have always been respectable. This week the Tour of Britain came very close to where I live so I was hoping to get a few snaps of the riders. I did several hours of preparation by driving the route on Wednesday and Thursday, looking for a good viewpoint with interesting surroundings. I found a spot last night, not too far from home, where I could look down on the action and get very close to the riders.

This morning I walked the dog one hour early. Then, because I had time to spare, I walked out of town to my chosen spot. I didn't have long to wait before the procession started, first dozens of police motorcycles with flashing lights and sirens, then the event cars again with flashing lights, then the race itself. The 100 odd riders in the peloton were level with me in an instant, then gone, travelling so fast that I had time to take 2 photographs. I could have taken 3 if I hadn't fumbled the film wind after the first shot. The riders passed, I was left in silence with my mouth open.

I'm happy enough with the 2 photographs, the one above is OK, I've seen worse. The other (you'll have to wait to see it), looks very nice, a potential good seller. I would have liked one or two more photos but there will be other races and I'll be there. I'm an experienced race photographer, I've covered the classics in France and Spain but on my home turf I forgot my own golden rule which is "always photograph the race when they're riding up a hill". Now I can add another golden rule "Don't panic, keep winding on".

A Night On The Town

Hornsey Road Baths & Laundry by Tim Irving

I spent yesterday night walking the streets of North London looking for good pubs to photograph. I would have loved to illustrate for you the type of pub I'm talking about with a photograph, but I can't because I couldn't find any, they've all disappeared! I'm not joking, it's true. Before I left the UK in 2002 every high street had dozens of traditional pubs some of them had been serving beer for 3 or 4 hundred years - now most of them have closed down. I did a little research and found out that last year the rate of closure was 52 pubs a week throughout Britain.

The main reason they've closed is because of the smoking ban that became law in 2007. At the time of the legislation we were told that "non smokers shouldn't have to suffer passive smoking". The few pubs I did see last night were not exactly heaving with non smokers enjoying clean air - they were empty. The few loyal customers were drinking beer outside, so they could smoke. Some pubs were thoughtful enough (and opportunistic), to provide outdoor heaters.

I find this a great shame not least because pubs were a part of the community and like libraries and churches, need to be preserved. The alternative is that we all cocoon ourselves in front of the PC or TV to smoke and drink in solitude.

The evening wasn't a complete wash out, it inspired me to hunt down and photograph the few old pubs that remain and also to photograph the building you see above, Hornsey Road Baths and Laundry. The original baths were built for the public in 1895.There was a swimming pool and 37 private baths plus a laundry. The baths were badly damaged during the Second World War, but hung on until they finally closed in 1991. Now all that remains of the original building is the facade and the beautiful neon sign, and for that I'm eternally grateful.

That's not my dog!